Tuesday, July 31, 2012: Off to go

Gavin is hiding under his bed with a load in his pants. He claims he is "not done pooping" and told me "I want you to go out in the hallway." I've told him before that leaving poop in his pants will make his butt sore (actually, we go right for the gold and say it will make his anus sore. Much more dramatic. And accurate). But I am not going to beg him to let me wipe his butt. I have diaper cream. I'll wait.

Speaking of poo (and I am, it seems, always speaking of poo), Gavin is in diapers full time again. He's technically in Pull-Ups but those are actually diapers and anyone who thinks otherwise is kidding themselves. They're just diapers you don't have to get a kid flat on the floor to put on is all. It's interesting though that twice Gavin has declared spontaneously on his own that he needed to pee and then went in the bathroom and did it all by himself. Both times we had company over so I have witnesses (Cheryl, Sara, please back me up). And then two other times he has pooped in his pants and I found him in the bathroom changing and trying to clean himself. Thankfully neither time resulted in stepped in feces tracked across the bathroom and all over tarnation, though. He is woefully inept when it comes to wiping, though that's to be expected at this stage. From what I've heard about boys they start to get better at it around the time they start college.

Gavin has been playing with this little Matchbox food truck I bought him awhile ago. He calls it his taco truck even though it says hamburgers on the side. But he can't read. And the only food truck he's ever really eaten from was a taco truck. Today he rolled the truck up to me and asked me if I was hungry. He then told me that he sold mango, strawberry and pineapple tacos and spinach donuts. Sounds damn good to me. Who wants to help raise the seed money for this venture?

I've been a single mom now for over a week. Frankly I think I'm pretty good at it, but that's only because I am not working this summer. For single ladies who have a kid (or kids) and a job (or jobs), I honestly don't know how you do it and I am so sorry that we live in a country that does not consider raising children an actual job and offers shit support to families. Family values, my ass. In any case, that is not to say that I in any way wish to stay a single mom. Gavin has two moms, just one of them in in Peru (or "at Paroo" as Gavin would say) right now. She'll be back soon. Gavin and I are both looking forward to her homecoming so long as she brings us the present we asked for (which is her arriving alive and well).

Of course, not having a break from Gavin at all save when we go to the gym and he hangs out in the Kids Club is taking its toll. I could use a break. Sometimes I just don't want to have to hear, "Play with me, Mama D" every five minutes and "When you gonna be done (with whatever it is you're doing that is not allowing you to play with me including things like going to the bathroom or showering or making dinner)?" And then there's, "What next?" which is what Gavin says at the conclusion of every activity or event we do together, reminding me that this is a never ending job. A very often rewarding job, mind you. But Jesus, what a job.

Speaking of Jesus, that's been one of Gavin's new catch phrases. A week ago at the park Gavin and his friend Colin were playing on a slide and since only the two of them were using it, they had free reign of the thing. At some point they went off to do something else and when they came back to the slide there were other kids playing on it. Gavin's response? "Jesus. Oh, Jesus. There's kids on the slide." Later, at home, Gavin heard a rumble outside and went running to the front door saying, "Jesus, it's the garbage truck." Now I readily admit that he got this from me. And I would be lying if I said I didn't think it was hilarious to hear him say it. But I also know that it's probably not the best habit to instill in my child and so I've been encouraging him to say "Gee whiz" instead since it sounds like Jesus. I haven't made a big deal about the Jesus thing because I'm afraid if I do he will also make a big deal about it by saying, "Oh, Jesus" forever. Or at least all the way through grade school.

Thankfully not every cute thing Gavin says is potentially offensive to millions. We've been going on walks every evening, which is something I usually do with Henri after Gavin goes to bed, but since Stacy isn't here, that's a no-go. Gavin's favorite thing to do on the walk is to pretend that he's the Big Bad Wolf and that I'm one of the three little pigs (or maybe I'm all three rolled into one?) and he chases me and I'm supposed to run. Now this might come as a huge surprise to many folks, but I am not a runner, despite my physique. I do not like to run, though pretending to run is worse than actually running. The Big Bad Wolf shtick is getting old quickly, except that while he's chasing me he yells, "Run in your life" instead of "run for your life." And it's fucking adorable. I have to admit that it breaks my heart a little bit when he outgrows certain verbalizations. Like the day he started saying "ketchup" instead of "keputch." Or when he started calling me Mama D instead of "Dirt."And there are many more I can't think of (but would happily to be reminded of by my wife or anyone else who reads this). Also, when we're about to leave the house he says, "Off to go," a conglomeration of "off we go" and "ready to go." He also says, "Ready to rock and roll" when we're ready to go, which he got from me. We often sing it in a high-pitch warble, often in unison, as if we were truly rock stars ourselves. Which we are. To each other anyway.

Monday, July 23, 2012: Three for three

Gavin is three years old now. Has been for three days. I can't believe it has already been this long. I can't believe it has only been this long. I feel like he's been mine forever or that I've been his, really.

We had a little birthday party at our house. I made him Oreo cookie cupcakes per his request (he picked them out from one of my many cupcakes recipe books). The Pool kids (three girls, one boy) came as did Rosemary's girls. While Gavin opened his presents he was surrounded by girls oohing and ahhing and trying to help him. It was cute. Stacy and I gave him a train set for his birthday. Lots of Thomas the Train Wooden Railway and compatible stuff. All of the Thomas stuff is ridiculously expensive but I got all of it at Marshall's and TJ Maxx, some of it on clearance. I'm not a pay full price kind of woman, sometimes to my peril (suffering through, for example, several days without my allergy medicine while trying to track it down on sale). The weather was perfect for his party and I know he had a good time.

July is a big birthday month for us. Granny Marilyn's birthday is the day before Gavin's and she was up here from Florida. The day after Gavin's is my brother Brian's, and he's back from Arizona. The day after that Gavin had two birthday parties to go to, one for Colin who was born on the same day as Gavin, and one for Angus, who was born around the same day as well. Both kids had a bounce house at their parties and Gavin was a happy, sweaty mess. But if I never see birthday cake again it will be too soon.

Potty training (because I know you were about to ask) is not going so well. He was, it seemed, making some real progress and we'd instituted a no-diapers-at-home policy that worked for awhile. Until he decided that going on the potty was too much trouble and started to just pee in his underpants on purpose. This resulted in a lot of rug cleaning (he mostly peed in his bedroom) and frustration for all of us. So now it's back to diapers but he has to change himself whenever he pees and has to help change himself when he poops, which means he has to wash his hands every time, an extra step that perhaps was making going on the potty seem less attractive. I am so over diapers, and he so isn't. I always give him the choice but he always chooses diapers.

This afternoon he chose underpants because I'd mentioned that he was running out of diapers. And he peed in them. On purpose, and not only that, he peed in them while standing in the hallway over the cars he was playing with. So when he yelled, "Mama D, I peed in my underpants" I found him standing over a puddle of urine with Rayo McQueen and Mac and assorted other race cars wheel deep in it. Poor Mac had the back of his truck open and pee had splashed inside. I was not very happy about this. It did not help that I had a raging headache. I made Gavin go into the bathroom and peel his wet underwear off. I picked up all of the cars and put them in the sink. I washed them all with a washcloth and then put them on top of the towel rack so they could dry and told Gavin he could not have them back until tomorrow. He cried and said he wanted them back and I informed him that we don't pee on our toys and if he peed on his toys again I would not wash them, I would just throw them away. He was still not happy. But, hey, I've got to draw the line somewhere. Peeing on your toys because you didn't want to stop playing is just not acceptable. It's also a sign that the kid really does need some more time to ease out of diapers. I think. We'll see, right? So much fun. (I just reread this paragraph and feel I should mention that I was incredibly patient given the circumstances and did not freak out).

Speaking of pee, he peed his bed during his nap today. The good news is that he took a nap, something that doesn't happen much now that he has a big boy bed. The bad news, of course, was the pee. He had a diaper on, but it leaked, wicked all up his shirt and soaked through the bed clothes. Thankfully he has a water proof mattress cover.

Stacy is in Peru for two weeks and so it's just been me and Gavin. He and I have been taking nightly walks with Henri. Tonight Gavin brought a toy firetruck with him and he just carried it and ran most of the way. Like, the kid literally ran most of the way around the block. At first he was running ahead of Henri and me and then he became the Big Bad Wolf chasing us through our houses of straw, sticks, and brick. On the walk I asked him what he liked about today and he said, "Taking a walk with you." He is sweetness and light.

Friday, July 6, 2012: Missing June

I know that since it's been a month since I've posted anything you're probably expecting some kind of big tah-da! announcement where I shout from the rooftops that my son is finally potty trained and/or has graduated from college. Alas, this is not to be, though it should be said that Gavin is totally within the bounds of normal when it comes to potty training, even if he still does prefer to poop his pants. This is such an anathema to me that it is difficult to wrap my brain around. The idea of shitting my pants makes me want to kill myself, but I guess that's what 34 years of life experience gets you.

We've set the bar higher for #2. Now not only does he get a jelly bean, but we've got a Thomas the Train toy up above the toilet that he can have when he does the deed. He's getting a train set for his birthday so it's more appropriate than he realizes. He wore big boy underpants for a stretch today with only minor incident. He started to pee, but was able to stop and come get me ("I'm peeing in my underpants," he said looking alarmed) and do the rest in the toilet. The goal is that he'll wear underpants all the time in the house and PullUps to bed or on long excursions.

June was a crazy month, especially for Gavin. He went to California with me and then turned right around and went to Florida with Stacy. I swear that Gavin is probably the best behaved child on an airplane ever. He was a dream to fly with. I couldn't have asked for anything better. I think he might have annoyed the guy next to us with his repeated questions of: "Are we going super fast yet? Now are we going super fast?" the entire time the plane taxied down the runway. But the kid is a flying champ. Quite the jet setter, he is. He even peed on the potty on the airplane. A highlight for both of us, I think.

Gavin and I went to visit Lisa and Brenden as well as Aunt Christine and her boyfriend Dan in Los Angeles. We came in on a late flight and he slept probably the last hour. Still, the first morning there I woke up at 5:30 a.m. California time to Gavin, his face right next to mine, saying, "I have to go pee pee, Mama D." He had a long stretch of not peeing in his diaper for the first day or so, but then he went back to it peeing only off and on in the toilet. Still, I think hanging out with completely potty-trained Brenden was a good influence. I loved seeing Gavin and Brenden interact. They're only 6 weeks apart in age (Brenden is older) and while there were some squabbles over toys, there was plenty of friendly chilling out, too.

The boys also took a bath together, which prompted a circumcised Brenden to ask why Gavin, who is uncircumcised, had a "weird penis." Gavin was completely not phased by Brenden's penis and I think the whole thing flew over his head a little bit. I explained to Brenden why his penis and Gavin's penis were different, not weird, and that seemed to do the trick and put the issue to rest.

Speaking of rest, Gavin and I slept in the same bed in California and it was really quite sweet. Gavin is a cuddly guy.

A highlight of our trip was going to Radiator Springs, or Cars Land at California Adventure Land. It was opening weekend for Cars Land so that part of the park was insanely crowded. We only got to go on one ride there. We waited in line for two others but we did not make it. The line for the Radiator Springs Racers was too long and Gavin lost interest. Though it was through waiting in this line that I learned that Gavin is now 40 inches tall. The bare minimum to ride. Then Gavin pooped his pants after we'd been waiting for a very long time in the line for Luigi's Flying Tires and we had to bail. We did get to ride Mater's Junkyard Jamboree, though. We waited forever and the ride was over in less than 5 minutes. But I think Gavin dug it. Though Cars Land was our main reason for going, we spent most of our time in the rest of the park which was virtually empty since everyone was in Cars Land. A Bug's Land was a big hit with the boys. We didn't even have to wait in line for most of the rides and if we did it was for less than 10 minutes. Mickey's Fun Wheel, a giant Ferris wheel, was a favorite. Gavin loved it. He loved being so high up. Brenden was a little nervous about it, but he still wanted to ride it a second time.

By far the boys' favorite ride was Ariel's Undersea Adventure. We went on that one three times (and, incidentally, while we were exiting the ride for the third time I am fairly certain that I saw Adam Levine heading in the opposite direction toward the ride's entrance). They wanted to go on it again, but by the third go of it we'd already been at the park for nearly 12 hours and it was time to head home.


Another highlight of our trip to Los Angeles was going to Homegirl Cafe with Christine and Dan. Gavin got to have green mac and cheese, his favorite (there's a pine nut-free pesto pasta meal from Trader Joe's that Gavin loves and I don't think "love" is too strong a word here. Last time we were there he was jumping up and down in the aisle with a crazed smile on his face chanting, "Green mac and cheese! Green mac and cheese!" I am sure the Homegirl's offering is much healthier (according to their website it's made with "fresh spinach, cilantro, serrano peppers, and a blend of Mexican cheeses").

We also go to go to Aunt Christine's work, YOLA at HOLA. That's Youth Orchestra of Los Angeles at the Heart of Los Angeles. Gavin got to play drums with one of the wind ensembles and it was really awesome. I can't even express how amazing YOLA is. My sister is doing amazingly important work that actually makes a positive difference in kids' lives and I am super proud of her. If you've got a couple of bucks to spare, throw it YOLA's way.