Gavin took and a half steps on Saturday. This is a new record. He did them in little bursts. Four quick steps. Pause. Four more. Pause. Like in the middle of walking three feet toward me he was all, "Hmm, where was I going again?" Then one and a half as he fell into me. It was very exciting. And terrifying, of course. But as the song goes, "Baby, he was born to walk."
Speaking of steps, we've fallen a few steps back when it comes to putting Gavin to bed, and so we're going through sleep training hell again, albeit on a much smaller level. There's just been a lot of crying at bed time. He doesn't like it when we stop rocking him and put him in his bed. He'd rather us just hold him, thank you very much. But he's a giant dude, and our backs can only take so much. So we're having to let him cry it out a bit each time he goes to sleep. Thankfully it's tapering off. Each time there is less crying. I am not worried (Stacy is a little bit).
I've been sent several links today to stories about a studying finding that kids of lesbian parents are better off than the sad offspring of heteros. According to CNN, "Children from lesbian families rated higher in social, academic and total competence. They also showed lower rates in social, rule-breaking, aggressive problem behavior." Now why would that be? Well, some of the theories are that lesbians don't typically have kids by accident and since their pregnancies are planned they are typically older and more prepared mentally, emotionally, and financially to have a kid.
It's interesting, too, that this particular study started in 1986, which means it tracked lesbian parents for the past 24 years. Things may not be where we want them, but 24 years is an eon in terms of the gay rights movement. And yet this study found that discrimination or other kids being assholes about the whole two mom thing didn't really negatively impacted them. The kids of lesbian parents still come out ahead of their hetero-raised peers. Considering that's what I've been most worried about -- how Gavin will weather the assholism of other kids as he gets older -- this makes me hopeful that over the next 24 years kids won't care or notice so much because having two moms won't be so unusual or taboo any more.
Mind you, I haven't read the study or anything, so I don't know how well designed it was or how accurate its measures, but I still find the whole thing very heartening. There are plenty of folks out there who think that homos need to stay as far away from children as possible and that two women raising children together is an affront to God or whatever. This kind of thinking is in large part why I can't be a legal parent to my own son in the state of Michigan (and in many other states). In the CNN story about the study they quote Wendy Wright, president of the Concerned Women for America, a group that is very far-right and outspokenly anti-gay. She trots out the whole "a kid needs a mother and a father or he/she will be fucked up for life" line. This isn't necessarily true, of course. I mean, sure, there are kids out there with great opposite sex parents who love each other and love their kids. But there are plenty of kids out there with a mother and a father who are assholes. What a kid needs is loving parents who are doing their best. Gavin is lucky because he has that. So what if one of us doesn't have a penis?
I have to admit, though, before we had Gavin there was a little doubt in my mind about having a boy. Granted, there was doubt in my mind about having a girl, too. But at least with a girl we didn't have to make day-one decisions about her genitals. Before we knew we were having a boy -- hell, before we were even pregnant -- I became obsessed with penises. Specifically my potential unborn son's penis. I asked everyone I could think of about their opinions, especially guys I knew. No surprise, people have very strong opinions about this subject. I was always leaning toward not circumcising, but I agonized over whether or not that was the right decision. But the more research I did, the more confident I became that not cutting his little baby penis was the right one. But I definitely had nightmares of my teenage son lamenting that his lesbian moms (read: opposite of penis experts) ruined his life by making the wrong decision about his junk. I am not so worried about this now, though. I'm sure he'll find other, better reasons to claim we ruined his life. Just like any other teenager with any other parents, gay or no.
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