Well, it's official. Gavin hates me. You should have heard him screaming just minutes ago when Stacy tried to leave to go to work. You would've thought that he'd just watched me split her head open with an ax. "Take him away from me, he's breaking my heart," she said. But as soon as I put him down on the changing table his crying only escalated. Finally I told her that she had to put him down for his nap before she left because it was pretty obvious that he and I weren't going to get very far. Once he was back in her arms his crying stopped and the look on his face said, "Yes. This is what I wanted. Everything is okay now."
I know I shouldn't take it personally, and mostly I don't. Stacy, after all, is the keeper of the hoots. She and Gavin are very hormonally connected or whatever. But you'd think that Gavin and I didn't spend every day for the last 5 months together. I'm thinking a lot of dads or co-moms know what I'm talking about. He still gets super excited to see me and stuff. He just would rather be in Stacy's arms at all times so-help-him-god-forever-and-ever-amen. "If it's any consolation," Stacy told me, "I find it kind of annoying."
In other great news, our crib has been recalled. YES! First the Tylenol, now this. I hate the fact that we got a drop-side crib, by the way. TOTALLY my fault since I did all of the crib research and decided what one to buy. But I went with the information I had, which was not, "Oh, hey, by the way, this crib is going to malfunction and kill your son." It's not like they put that on the box. The best part of the recall is that they're not going to, like, give us our money back or anything. They're going to send us a "repair kit" to immobilize the drop-side. Now, this is all well and good, but the Consumer Product Safety Commission says we should stop using the crib immediately and find an alternate safe place for our child to sleep. And the repair kits should be available to send out in the next few weeks. They're really sorry for the inconvenience, though. "Whoops, our bad! We don't like dead babies," pretty much sums up the company's website.
In other sorry-ass baby related news, there's apparently a young (and dumb) mother in Florida who's getting all kinds of grief after posting a photo on Facebook of her baby smoking a bong (the baby is not actually smoking, just kind of holding it with his or her mouth on the top). It's a sad picture, actually. Besides the obvious, what concerns me about the photo is the disarray surrounding the baby. Wires and cords galore and I'm going to take a stab in the dark and say that the carpet is probably not exactly clean. Lucky baby, if by "lucky" we mean "unlucky" (you know, opposite day). And remember, folks, Florida is a state that bans gay and lesbian people from adopting because of how unfit they are as parents. Maybe the bong baby girl can adopt some of the kids languishing in state custody. I mean, as long as she's not gay or something.
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