Okay, okay, okay. So a woman in Texas (of course) gave birth to a 16 pound baby boy. It's all over the news. Or it was all over the news, I'm a couple of days behind. People are freaking out about the baby's size, but what interests me is the baby's name ("I don't care about a big baby" -- one of three choices in the NY Daily News readers' poll): JaMichael. His parents, Janet and Michael, apparently love their names so much they couldn't think of a third one. It's a little unfair that Janet only gets "Ja" while Michael gets his whole name in there. But that's the patriarchy for you. And the baby is, after all, a boy. Their girl name was no doubt MaJanet.
Had Stacy and I (a.k.a. D'Anne) decided to combine our names our son would be named St'An.
I also love the NY Daily News headline: "Massive, 16-pound baby ... smashes newborn records." It brings to mind a mega King Kong sized baby pounding his fists into giant filing cabinets. "Me no like papers!"
In reality JaMichael isn't smashing anything. He's a newborn. He's crying and eating and filling his diaper. He's just as helpless as any other newborn, it's just that this bundle of helplessness comes in a package twice as large. Good luck, Janet and Michael. And remember, lift with your legs!
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