Week 2 Day 3: Better

It's 7 p.m. and I am completely exhausted. A quicker way to say this: "I am a mom."

Today was much better than yesterday. Thank God. Gavin took all three of his day time naps and even tried his hand at a fourth. Granted the fourth nap was not very substantial and there was a lot of hooting and whimpering, but no full throated crying. From either of us.

I didn't have to drive him all over town to get him to sleep like yesterday when I drove from Detroit to Clarkston and back and then cruised up and down 8 Mile while he snoozed. Sadly an unexpectedly loud guitar riff on the Julie Doiron CD I was listening to startled him awake and we had to head home. But he slept for a half hour and then a short time after waking fell asleep again and had been sleeping for almost an hour when he woke. It's the first time I've ever done the Dream Cruise. In fact, when Stacy suggested it the night before I scoffed at the idea. But he was in desperate need of sleep and I was in desperate need of him getting sleep. I just don't like the idea of putting the baby in the car and driving around. It's much safer if he sleeps at home. Chances of him getting hit by a semi-truck when napping in his room are nearly zero. I mean, it could happen. But probably won't.

I never changed him out of his PJs today, so that's a strike against me. I also never changed out of my own. Strike two. Or took a shower. Strike three. I'm not moving very quickly in the direction of get out of the house and do things. But neither am I feeling depressed and isolated. Plus this whole sleep training debacle has really thrown us for a loop. Baby Bear has been over tired for days now. Not exactly a "let's go grocery shopping" mood.

I would like to join some kind of group or do some kind of activity that gets us out of the house. The Main Art Theater had mommy movie days where you could bring your kids. Though I don't know how any one actually got to see an entire movie. I don't think they do it any more though. Stacy told me there's a story time thing at the library I should check out for kids 6 months and up. So that's on my agenda.

I got Gavin a book today called Mommy, Mama, and Me about a kid about Gavin's age being raised by two moms. I read it to him and Stacy tonight. It's a good book. I think it will be good for Gavin. Stacy asked if she could be Mommy and I could be Mama and I thought that she was talking about identification with the women in the book, but she meant in real life. Or "IRL" as the kids these days say it. I'm pretty much stuck with Mama D which came about when Stacy and I got our first cat (Wedge Kitty, may she rest in peace if she is, in fact, dead. She ran away soon after we got our dog. On our anniversary, in fact. Thanks, Wedge! Great gift. That's sarcasm. Then again, she wasn't particularly nice. Beautiful: check. Vicious: check. Kind of cancels the first one out). We started referring to each other as Mama D and Mama Stacy regarding the cat. I've adopted Mama D and it's mine. It felt weird at first, but it's starting to feel right. I don't think it would ever feel right to me to be called "mommy." People ask us all the time what Gavin is going to call us. For some reason the idea of him referring to Stacy by her first name, i.e. Mama Stacy, doesn't set right with me. But then, it's largely up to Gavin. I'm just hoping he doesn't call us something like "Mom" and "Other Mom."

Stacy just dropped something into the bathtub and made a loud noise. I'm now waiting to hear if Gavin wakes up since the bathroom is adjacent to his room. And our house is the size of a kiddie pool. Okay, no crying thus far. Though now she's just come out of the bathroom loudly, just kind of flinging open the door and letting go of the noisy knob. Then again, I'm probably just overly sensitive since I'm sleep deprived. Maybe it wasn't that loud IRL.

The big test will be how the night goes. Last night he spent a good deal of time up crying and complaining after his feeding around 1 a.m.

Shit. He's crying now, in fact. The 15 minute clock is on. If he's still crying after 15 minutes it's time to soothe. He's started rolling over in his crib like a drunk tumbler so I'm afraid he's managed to get his legs trapped in his crib slats or something. But he's not crying like he's in pain. In fact, he's just whimpering now. It sounds like he may even be soothing himself back to sleep. Praise Jesus -- that is, if Gavin soothes himself to sleep. Otherwise, thanks a lot, Jesus. Way to let a baby down.