Last night Stacy was looking at Xytex's Facebook page and some parents had posted photos of their kids. First of all, I think it's kind of weird for a sperm bank to have a Facebook page. As a Facebook user I have the option to "Become a Fan" of Xytex. I mean, I guess I would consider myself a fan seeing as that's where we got Gavin's baby daddy batter. But I'm not sure I'm ready to become a fan publicly proclaim my fan status, especially since "fan" is short for "fanatic" and I would hardly call myself a sperm fanatic. I'm also reluctant since my mother-in-law is now one of my Facebook friends (something I initially resisted, but since I am the poster of all Gavin photos -- almost 600 now -- it really didn't seem fair to have her access to her grandson's photo library restricted. In any case, neither Stacy nor I are Xytex fans on Facebook. We did, however, eagerly look at the photos of donor offspring people had posted looking for traces of Gavin. Some of the posters identified their donor by number, others didn't. None were identified as from our donor.
Anyway, this enterprise led me to wonder aloud about a sibling registry, which I'd read about, so I told Stacy to Google our donor's ID number. Sure enough, there is a registry and our donor is on it. The registry appears to be through Xytex (I was reading over Stacy's shoulder so I couldn't read the fine print). It costs $150 to join so we didn't do more than just skim the surface of it. But listed on this registry alone there were at least ten offspring from our donor. Stacy was surprised by this number. She said she'd just never considered that there might be so many out there. She said she'd never really thought about it logically, but when she pictured it in her head she had a vague number of three or four siblings. I should say, too, that I don't think of these kids as Gavin's siblings, as if he has some long lost sisters and brothers out there. Maybe "genetic material sharers" would be a better term. According to this registry, some of these kids were born several years before Gavin. Stacy noted that since he's a known donor it's possible that by the time Gavin contacts him he'll have been contacted by a swarm of kids already. That is, if Gavin contacts him. We paid extra for this particular dude's sperm because he's an open donor, which doesn't mean he's going to drop by someday and be Gavin's father, but only that when Gavin is 18 Xytex will release the donor's name and contact info to him should he request it. The donor has no obligation to talk to or acknowledge contact from Gavin. My main hope is that 18 years from now the guy will not be an asshole and that Gavin won't have to feel like there's some kind of missing piece he can't ever put together.
It was another beautiful day here today. Gavin and I spent more time outside today than we've probably spent all month. We went for a walk to this little park near us and Gavin played on the swings. "Played on" is not quite accurate. I put him in one of the baby bucket swings (I'm sure they have a real name but I don't know what it is) and pushed him. He seemed to like it. Definitely smiles, though I think he was also distracted by the dogs in the yard next to the park. Henri certainly was.
On the way to the park we ran into a neighbor lady who was also pushing a baby in a stroller and had two little girls walking on either side to boot. These are not her only children. In fact, I don't know that all three of these were hers. All I know is that she has a lot of kids. I would refer to her by name, except I don't know what her name is. I feel awful about this since she knows my name -- in fact, when she was a handful of yards away she yelled, "Hi, D'Anne!" -- and she knows Stacy's name. Neither of us know her name and it's kind of past the point of asking. She even invited me to lunch at her house and to bring Gavin over (she lives across the street and down about five or so houses). She said I should leave my number in her mailbox, which is kind of weird so I am not going to do it. But she's really nice, don't get me wrong. I'm just embarrassed I don't know her name.
After our walk Gavin and I went out in the backyard. I put an old bedspread on the grass and put Gavin in the middle of it with some of his new toys. Henri and Jasper were in the yard with us and were just as if not more entertaining for Gavin as the toys. Gavin started to get crabby after awhile so I took him in and gave him some more to eat (he's all about the solid foods. I only give him a bottle once a day now). But after he was fueled up we headed back outside. At one point Henri was sitting on the edge of the blanket and Gavin wanted desperately to touch him but Henri was several feet away. This apparently motivated Gavin to try to crawl -- and I am using "crawl" loosely here. He managed to propel himself forward, but I don't even know that I can describe how he did it except to say that it involved using his head as a fulcrum and the instrument of actual propulsion. Needless to say, he didn't do this for very long without getting frustrated and/or exhausted. But he did move forward enough to get his hand on Henri's curly fur.
After Stacy got home we all went for yet another walk. And we passed the No Name Neighbor's house. She was in the front yard with many children. We said hello, slowing down but not stopping.
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